18/06/07 - Monday - Colin

I guess I've probably lost at least half of my audience, but for those who care, as Scobby often says, here are the ramblings from my latest travels

I flew in from Ireland to London Gatwick on EasyJet, early this afternoon, having been to see Deyna & Danika for a few days. Sam was almost waiting for me at arrivals, but the usual M25, largest car park in the world scenario, was in full swing and so I exited baggage reclaim to find only the usual line of bored taxi drivers sporting their sad little signs with unintelligible names.

I didn't have to wait long though, as once the traffic eased Sam had put her foot down (when doesn't she!) and bent or more likely torpedoed all known speed limits.

Soon we were on our way to Heathrow Terminal 4 for my Sri Lankan airlines flight to Bangkok via Colombo. Lunch and a couple of drinks together in the terminal passed quickly and suddenly it was just me, solo, tout seul etc, heading for gate 1a, via a quick free spray of Polo black aftershave in the duty free shop.

The plane, an Airbus A340, is fine and I have a row of 4 seats to myself. Our due take off time is 1700 and then at 16.59 disaster strikes. We are actually taxiing up to the runway, when the captain announces that someone on board now refuses to fly with us. Bit late, what! another moment and we'll be airborne, but alas the captain is adamant that he will have to return to the stand and put them off the plane.

For safety's sake he doesn't want anyone potentially disruptive on board and although several of us offer to sit on the offender or lock them in the loo, he is not having it. An hour later we are still motionless at the terminal, when the captain announces that the person who didn't want to fly anymore and was taken off the plane has complained that the reason was due to incitement by someone else on the aircraft.

The Captain has decided that they too must be put off the plane and naturally their baggage has to be removed from the hold as well. Another hour passes and my connecting flight in Colombo is beginning to look decidedly unlikely. In fact after two hours sitting in the plane going nowhere, the captain needs to be a little bit careful about ejecting potential troublemakers as he might just find he suddenly has an empty aircraft!

It transpires that the first person put off the plane was actually a deportee being sent back to Sri Lanka and the western girl put off after him was part of a group that aids deportees in avoiding being sent home. We had a least five police cars parked at the back of the plane dealing with the problem, but eventually they were finished and then finally at 7.22pm we lifted off. The captain 'very kindly' pointed out the Millennium Dome, Gatwick, Canterbury cathedral and Dover as we flew by, but as we were expecting to see the Austrian Alps by this time, no one was very impressed.

Fortunately, they have agreed to hold our connecting flight, so with the panic over for about half the passengers we settled down for the ten hour ten minute flight.

Indian or Sri Lankan women for that matter don't really drink alcohol and as such they have no concept whatsoever of what constitutes a normal measure. I had two of the largest glasses of wine I have ever seen, followed by a whisky of near equal proportions.

Don't remember much else, so I'll stop here.

19/06/07 - Tuesday - Colin

Well, still in the air, last time I looked we were over Pakistan and just turning south towards Bombay. Breakfast was my all time favourite, a Masala Dhosa (For more info look at the Indian pages). I have worked out a very comfortable way of sleeping when you have extra seats. Put two pillows under your head, one pillow on the join of the two seats at about the lower rib position. Obviously making sure you lift up the arm rest first. Leave the second armrest down and jack knife your legs around it as you lay on your side so that the back of your knees just touch it. It works I promise!

Eventually we were over Sri Lanka and although my impressions are only from the air and airport, it appears to be about 99% forest and very green.

Once in the airport we were quickly shoed off to our waiting transfer, but as a queue built up I decided to nip to the loo. I quite fancied a smoke, but had resigned myself to none until after the infamous Bangkok immigration, at least another five hours away, when suddenly I was tapped on the shoulder by an airport official, who had seen my cigarettes in my pocket. 'You want to smoke it's ok, no problem' he said as he whipped out a gold Zippo lighter from his pocket. Afterwards, I gratefully gave him a large tip, I expect I was not the first, hence the gold Zippo!

My next plane has certainly seen better days. The seat in front of me was at an angle, the buttons to control the TV were worn through and to cap it all they put the tallest Indian I have ever seen in the seat next to me. He promptly turned sideways facing me, stuck his knees halfway across my already small legroom and went to sleep. Bugger!

The menu is also the same, so I had a second breakfast of Masala Dhosa and watched Funny Money on the TV. A total farce and very funny on the whole.

The new Bangkok International airport has had some stick in the press. Apparently it is already falling down, but I saw no such thing. It is huge, as any decent airport worth its name should be and is a very interesting design. Sadly no pictures, but it is quite impressive to look at.

After the usual interminable immigration, where I yet again picked the one queue where they were obviously trying out a tame monkey, I eventually grabbed my rucksack, which didn't get lost hurray! and headed for the bus stop.

The new airport is  further out than the old one, but the road connections are good and I was soon recognising all the landmarks. Hopping off the bus early to walk through a short cut I knew, it was only a few minutes later that I was checking into the D&D inn on the Khoa San Road. I took a single room, not needing anything else at present and was soon back in Thai regulation clothes. That is shorts, lightweight top and flip flops.

It is 31°C and a bit overcast, but everything is just the same, from the street stalls selling Pad Thai, skewers of meat and fruit, to the girls in their tiger beer dresses trying to persuade you to visit their bar. At one point on Khoa San there were a group of policemen looking sternly on as a trader dismantled his stall. Why his was illegal when the other 200 weren't I have no idea.

I've booked a visit to the dentist, a snip at £11 for a check up and descale. Tomorrow I'm off to Koh Tao on the Chumphon Express train. Lower bunk as always if you want a tip. The top is small, cold and too bright.

My Thai Sim card has given up the ghost, not surprising as I haven't topped it up for 9 months. I will have to get a new one tomorrow in the MBK centre at Siam.

Anyway, off for a massage, some live music and a well deserved Chang beer or two, Adios.

20/06/07 - Wednesday - Colin

Woke up, got outta bed, dragged a comb across my head.... That's how it felt anyway as I ended up chatting to an American from Chicago called Don in the bar last night until about 3am. Many a Chang was supped before I finally crawled off to bed.

The massage was nearly a disaster as they were going to send a bloke to do the do. I soon put a stop to that!! Next up was my old favourite bar where there was a great two piece band playing all the favourites from the 60's and 70's.

I went out and bought my Catamaran ticket this morning and then headed off to the dentists. It was pretty much all good news. Despite not having had a check up since 1999, my teeth are fine, although in need of a good scrape. One filling needs replacing as it is starting to 'leak' a bit. I have made an appointment to go back at the end of July to have it replaced and also get my amalgam or silver coloured fillings replaced with white ones.

I met up with Don again at lunchtime as he has been on his own in the D&D Inn, Khoa San for two weeks and is going stir crazy. Normally he stays in dormitories, which he advises are excellent for picking up girls. Thailand doesn't have much in the way of dormitories though and most girls here are either already in couples or there is a gang of them on holidays together.

I took him off to the MBK centre along the Klongs (Canals) and I bought another SIM card. He bought a 2nd hand very hi-spec phone with, would you believe, it an 8 mega pixel camera. That's more than my real camera, but on a phone.

The previous owner had all sorts of pink and furry background pictures, alerts and so on. So he spent the next hour trying to get rid of them all, so that if he was run over and the police picked up his phone to find out the next of kin, they wouldn't think he was a lady boy.

Next up was hat shopping  followed by a chill out by the pool. Just as I was about to leave and get my train, I was asked to do some stuff on the internet and so in the end I dashed out of the hotel and asked the Tuc Tuc drivers who was the fastest. A huge show of hands went up so I just had to pick the most likely and go for it.

I arrived at the station with just a few minutes to spare and was soon on my way. I actually made 100 baht in the shop before I left as I was given the wrong change. It's quite funny really. You watch them count through the notes they are going to give you back at least five times and then they give you the wrong amount...

The train was nearly empty, there were only 6 people in my carriage. I chatted to one lady from Hong Kong for a while and then headed off for the smoking car. Actually there is no such thing, but you just need to find a non aircon carriage and you are ok. I sat down with a train manager and an army security guard, right under the sign that says 2000baht fine for smoking.

Having offered around the smokes, well they can't nick me if they're doing it as well can they?, they produced bottles of Chang and several glasses. There followed a lengthy discussion in pigeon English and when I finally escaped I was pulled into a party of Dutch People who had a vast supply of Heineken. Eventually one of the train guards tapped me on the shoulder to say he was locking the doors and so I had to go back to my own carriage....

21/06/07 Thursday - Colin

It is 3.30 am and I have just been woken up by a very keen bloke putting his rucksack on and standing by the door ready for disembarking at Chumphon. What he doesn't realise is that the train never ever arrives on time. It might say 3.30am on the ticket, but it really isn't worth getting up until at least 4.15. Even that is not really necessary as our carriage is the one that is left at Chumphon while the rest of the train carries on.

There was the usual gauntlet of touts at the station and the lady with the screaming voice that grates so much in your ears at 4.30am that you just want to strangle her.

As usual I ignored them all and headed straight for Fame tour a ten minute walk away. The tea is the best in Thailand and you can relax in comfortable surrounding for an hour or two  until the Catamaran coach picks you up. Much better than the staying at the station.

We were soon steaming across the gulf of Thailand and could see Koh Tao as a bump on the horizon, 60 miles away. Am I coming home or making a huge mistake, I shall soon find out.

Another gauntlet passed, this one full touts for resorts on Koh Tao and I was soon sipping a coffee in Zest, the top breakfast place on Tao.

I went to hire a motorbike from my usual place and said I wanted a good deal for 6 weeks. The usual price is 150 baht per day, but I normally pay 100 for a long hire. The lady was adamant that 120 was the minimum. I explained that I always hired from her and didn't she remember me. She studied me for a minute and suddenly said 'Ok You got tall wife with blond hair and little girl with red hair and yes ok 100 baht no problem'.  - Sorted....

I arrived at Luke's place soon after and following a few blokey hugs we headed out for a pool party up at Ban's top pool which is a new development.

Six hours in the Thai sun, a great mix of people and a crate of Tiger from Scobby and the day was gone. Everyone was burnt except me as I had some sun cream on. Sadly I missed a bit and so my left hand side is decidedly lobsterish.

Popped down to Luke's bar at Buddha View and eventually called it a day at 2.30am, what a great welcome back to Koh Tao.

22/06/07 - Friday - Colin

Luke is out for the count so I popped up to see Dive master Dave, who has been looking after some of our stuff since we left last September. It is a bit damp and musty, but not mouldy. He and Wendy have split up and she has gone back to the UK, so he's off on a tour of Thailand on his Harley for a few weeks.

The main job for the day is to find my own apartment as Shadowlands is full. What I'm really after is a nice balcony where I can write my book and work, hot water, a kitchen and perhaps a TV. Six hours later I had seen a succession of places, none of any interest. Looks like I'm on the sofa tonight then. Scobby assures me he is off to the Gym at 4pm, but no one believes him. Everyone remembers Sam and I from last year and Deyna and Danika too. They keep asking me where they are, so it has been a bit of a tough day.

Luke and I headed up to the best restaurant on the island (Morava's) for dinner. Olives, king Mackerel pate and a cheese fondue. As it's Swedish night on Koh Tao (something to do with midsummer) we headed down to Dragon bar until the early hours with half a dozen of Luke's 'girls' in tow.

I faded about 3am and headed for the 7-11 to get a hot dog. It's easy to forget that there are a lot of people on Koh Tao who are new to the island and have no idea where anything is. I found three of them sitting on the Kerb drinking Tiger. They asked me if there were any taxi's or if in fact there was anything to do on the Island. Is the 7-11 it, is that where it's happening they said. I took pity and gave them a run down on where to go, but as for the taxi, no chance tonight.

As I drove away they pulled up a few plastic chairs and looked resigned to a night outside a shop. Tant pis!

23/06/07 - Saturday - Colin

Luke came home at 6am to grab his shorts to go swimming, I resisted the temptation and went back to sleep. He was back again with a crowd of people at 8 am for more partying and I was offered a cup of tea or a beer. Oh dear................

Much later..... The power has gone off again. Apparently the Thai guy who was supposed to be watching the power station buggered off to play snooker and while he was away it caught fire. The Thai's arrived and poured loads of water on it. Not a clever move as they have blown up two out of the three generators. Now there is only one generator for the whole Island and so the power is only on for half of the day until they fix it.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz................

House warming party tonight at a Dutch friend of Jolien's.

24/06/07 - Sunday

Another day of trying to find an apartment. I found one high in the hills above Sairee beach. the view is amazing, but no fridge or cooker or much of anything else. You need at least a fridge to keep your beers cold. I'd also probably need to swap to a dirt bike if I was having to ride up there every day.

Everywhere else I saw was rubbish, so I will try again tomorrow and relax by the sea for a couple of hours until Luke or Scobby drag me out somewhere.

Not felt too good today, but sure enough Scobby called and asked me up to the bar at Big Blue diving resort where he holds court.

While there, they had on the usual Open water diving video showing the latest open water students final dive before certification. Their instructor has just had a new wetsuit made which is a replica of the Spiderman outfit. It was hilarious watching him do all the jumps and movements and swinging along on his web. The video had been speeded up in places so it looked very authentic, even if it was underwater.

25/06/07 - Monday

An uncomfortable night on the sofa at twilight last night! It's very good of Luke to put me up, but I must find my own place today. I need my own space...

As I will be hiring one of his bungalows in a week or ten days time, I am now looking at places where you pay by the day instead of by the month. This has given me a lot more choice and I soon found somewhere right on the seafront called Clearview, fairly central to everywhere.

I have a great sea view and it is very quiet, apart from the waves crashing onto the rocks below me. The balcony is perfect for sitting watching the sea, writing, reading, entertaining etc and I have hot water and a fridge - ooh luxury. No TV though, but who cares.

Shadow, Luke's dog has his own little shadow. A tiny black puppy that follows him around. Shadow pretends to ignore him, but I think he is secretly pleased now that his friend Lek has gone to doggy heaven.

Did some writing and caught up on some sleep. Plus did some other work. Caught up with Luke and the Instructors in his bar at Buddha View. Chatting to them reminded me how much fun diving is, so I will book a few fun dives. There are quite a few Whale Sharks about at the moment, so I should see some good stuff.

A large version of the me and the Marlin poster is on display just outside. That makes 5 posters at different sites I have now found and I even had someone approach me in the street today and say 'hey aren't you on that fishing poster'. Ah fame at last!! She suggested I should ask for royalties, but you need to be very careful saying anything to a Thai to do with Royal anything, in case they take offence.

It is a bit stormy tonight with a strong wind and a smattering of rain and someone is busy letting fireworks off. At least I hope they are fireworks and not just the military coup finally reaching Koh Tao some months late. Well it is a bit laid back here, even the Spanish would find it so, a sort of "Manyana" with bells on.

It is the full moon party on Koh Pang Yang - an island about an hour away by Catamaran - in a few days time and Luke has asked me to go with him. I actually really like the music they play, but I'm not sure I am up for three days and two nights of it. I really want to get my head down and write and also get down to Thai boxing training.

Anyway off out for a bit of a boogie now. It's a tough life!

26/06/07 - Tuesday

Aroi, Luke, Dave & Wendy's restaurant is now shut and the crocodiles that lived there are no more. This is nothing to with any of them, in fact Dave used to go down daily to feed them and clean up. One day, however one escaped. The Thai's shot it and suddenly Koh Tao was awash with a new special of the day, Crocodile.

This apparently proved a money spinner and so the others are now all gone too. Dave was furious as this particular type of Crocodile is an endangered species with something like only 500 left in the world. Sorry 496.

I had lunch with Luke at Tukta's, a Thai restaurant and I went for the Pad Thai, which was wrapped in an egg and pink in colour! Every one on the island raves about it, but I don't think it's a patch on the Pad Thai that you get from the street vendors on the Khoa San Road.

Dinner was at Whitening with friends, a chilled out place on the beach, that has been part of Koh Tao for many years. Last time I was here was on Scobby's birthday last September, a night to remember.

Finished up at Dragon Bar, another old haunt. The owner has a huge range of cocktails and the girls went for some bright blue number called Illusion, actually it's quite nice and comes in a tall glass vase with shot glasses. Maarten and I wisely stuck to the beer. Another storm is brewing and the trees are whipping from side to side, the downpour cannot be far away and with it a whole new set of road shapes and pot holes. Damn, I've just re learnt where they all are.

27/06/07 - Wednesday

Same same, but different as the Thai's say.

Made the mistake of going back to El Gringo's a Mexican restaurant. A Mistake as in the Fajitas are great, but you get enough Cheese and sour cream etc for one tortilla if you're  lucky. I don't know what they expect you to do with the other two Tortillas. Stingy gits. Still it was all as a celebration for a group of Open water students, who had just passed their certification.

One of them had an interesting job as an English teacher in China with Berlitz. She has been there over a year and had been to all the places in China that I have been to, except Yangshuo.

Finished up dancing at Lotus Bar, on the Beach. It was Gee's birthday, one of the instructors from Buddha View. Normally she is quite reserved, but not today, good for her!

28/06/07 - Thursday

A good day, followed by dinner at Morava's although I think the food is going downhill now Tanner no longer seems to inspect every dish coming out of the kitchen. The chef is a gay guy that never seems to stop giggling.

Tanner is closing the restaurant for three days as he wants to install flush toilets in the ladies rather than the bucket and scoop that is quite common here. He has decided to have a BBQ at his place to use all the food up, in particular a large piece of beef tenderloin.

The Thai staff are well aware that the restaurant is closing and so we watched them walking out with armfuls of food for their families that would only go off otherwise. Tanner had to chase them down the street to 'rescue' his BBQ.

Bumped into some of the old crowd including Marie Soleil, a French Canadian who last featured on this site in a photo, polishing Luke's bottom with a feather duster. It was at one of the previous party's here and we were soon planning another one for the 9th of July. The last one was in fact last September which I attended and everyone is looking forwards to this one. The theme has yet to be decided. I'll keep you posted.

29/06/07 - Friday

Got up late and then relaxed on my balcony, reading, listening to music and watching the waves crashing on the rocks.

There was a big storm last night and I had to dig out a cape from the bag of stuff that Dave and Wendy kept for us. It was an old decathlon cycling cape and boy did it stink from nine months in a bag with the Thai humidity. It did the job, although it is getting a little worn now and leaks in places.

I treated us to a bottle of Ricard today, thinking it would last at least a couple of weeks, but then Scobby and Jolien came round to watch the sunset from my balcony. Hey it's not bad this French stuff Scobby says. Hmmm, several hours and a take away curry later he weaved off down the road, closely followed by a much more sober Jolien, leaving the Ricard bottle very nearly empty. Oh well, easy come, easy go.

30/06/07 - Saturday

Got a text from Scobby admitting that Pastis is in fact the devil's own tipple and that he will treat it with more respect next time.

Tri Nations Rugby is on at Choppers so we all met up to see OZ vs. NZ. For those who are interested the Ozzies stole the game in the last 10 minutes or so. Alex was there together with his girlfriend Chris. Since they left Koh Tao to work on his "Live aboard" boat, she has lost so much weight I hardly recognised her.

Marie Soleil another old friend has been  great, talking through a lot of issues with me, while supping a glass of wine or two at Morava's, with the gang.

01/07/07 - Sunday

Woke up disgustingly late and chilled out the rest of the day.

02/07/07 - Monday

Party time with Luke, Tanner, Jeff and me. Kicked off in Choppers with Luke for dinner and I ordered the steak burger. Frankly it was ridiculous, they brought me half a cow! Jeff, who owns the place was so disgusted with his staff that he went to have a 'chat' with them about portion control.

I managed to finish it, so hey maybe I'm getting better, but it was huge!!!

Went down to Luke's bar and he was very pleased as it's the first time that he has managed to get Tanner and Jeff there. I saw the photo's of Jeff's stag do round at is place and that was a party I am sorry I missed. Usual idiocy prevailed as you will see from the photo's.

I bumped into an American guy called Lincoln that I first met a week or so ago when I was looking for somewhere to rent. He is a songwriter and has various guitars, piano's and drums at his house. We are going to do a few jam sessions next week, which I am really looking forwards to.

Luke is off to Bangkok in 10 days time and has asked me to look after the Bar while he is away. I am still family as far as he is concerned, which gives me a warm feeling.

Luke and I stayed up all night talking along with Jeff, Janine, Sandra and wrong Tom (Don't ask me why). Tanner faded early, very unusual for him.

03/07/07 - Tuesday

Luke and I headed down to the 40 baht Thai place for brunch at about 11am and after a Pad gaprow gai (Spicy chicken) it was decision time. Do we carry on and head down to Dirty Nellie's for beers and pool or go to sleep.

Sense won out and I headed home for some much needed shut eye. Scobby has put his back out and is in bed and I headed out to watch a movie. The latest incarnation of the pirates of the Caribbean, in case you are interested.

Did a bit of work and then headed off to Lotus, again! It is now very busy on the island as the full moon party on Pang Yang has finished and everyone has come over to do a bit of diving.

Bumped into Abdul, the best pancake man on the island and stopped for a chat. He asked me how the girls were as they were about his best customers when they were here last year. Even though it is 2.30am I went for a chilli and egg pancake, fantastic!

04/07/07 - 15/07/07

Hi everyone, sorry no updates for a while, but hey you've heard it all before and there is not much I can put up on the site.

I moved from my bungalow very near the sea to one right on the sea. I could (and did) hop over my balcony to land on pristine white sand and from there a couple of steps took me into the water. I had a hammock strung over the balcony and could laze away a few hours with the most fabulous views.

Since the 8th I have been staying in one of Luke's bungalows, which is totally different. It is very quiet in comparison and the sea is nowhere near (relatively speaking). I am in the 'jungle' instead, which means more mosquito's, but they haven't bothered me. The bungalow is well designed and well finished, but unfortunately the bed has suffered from the humidity and smells. The pillows actually made me run for the balcony to be sick. I burnt them and bought new ones!

Lots of parties and meals out of course. One memorable one was at the in between bar. In between where you might ask. That, of course is the problem if you are trying to find it, it is just "in between". It was a party for all the long termer's, of which I am one partly by association. Great fun, although I fell asleep on a very comfortable cushion for half an hour which kind of ruined my street cred, for the evening at least.

I still get people asking me about my face being on posters around the island, especially as I am now very visible as I am running Luke's bar in his absence. He has gone off to Bangkok for a while as he was getting island fever.

It is great for meeting people and just having fun. I spent 4 hours tonight on the CD decks, mixing music and playing at being a DJ. I even got a few compliments!!

I finally made the effort this morning to go diving and Jolien and I went out to Chumphon Pinnacle together. Scobby stayed in bed! I think he is starting to feel his age (maybe) and does not have quite the recovery power he used too. We saw a couple of sharks close up, plus some Scorpion and Lion fish. We took some great footage of sharks and photo's which are now up on the site under photo's and movies.

Having had a late night at the bar, I even got very slightly "narked" at 31 metres for the first time ever. Nothing much except it felt like I had suddenly had a few beers for a couple of moments.

Running the bar is great fun and a refreshing change, but a couple of the staff are at each other's throats, so I am having to dredge up my mediating and management skills from some dark recess of my memory. It has been a very long time!!

Still all goes well and I am raking the money in for him. Although they all love Luke they are delighted about the reprise from his incessant Trance music and suggested I might like to persuade him to extend his trip!

The weather has been hot, of course, but often overcast. Today was sunny and so I got burnt having become used to not worrying about sun tan lotion. Judging by the pink faces on the island this evening, I was not the only one.

There are still short sharp storms, but you can see them coming and so I have managed to duck under cover just in time. The real problem is that all the side roads change and you have to learn the new ridges and potholes etc.

The Buddha view dive boats have had a refit and are now very posh in comparison with real seats, sun shades and a half decent loo. The tide is very low at the moment so everyone has to stand at the front of the boat when we leave the jetty. Even so there were a few alarming scraping sounds as we crept out into deeper water.

Tanner, the boss of Morava's put on a Mardi Gras party the other day, but it was not a patch on the Fetish party he had when we (Sam and I) were last on Koh Tao together. Never mind, we made the most of it and Luke and I won several sets of plastic necklaces for, well, generally outrageous behaviour in all honesty.

There seem to be quite a few French people on the island and so I have become a bit of a magnet for them, for info on where to go and what to do as most of them speak pigeon English at best. It's been good for my French as well so no complaints.

I dug my beautiful guitar out of the 'camp' where it has been stored this long while, but the neck is still slightly warped and it is very hard to play. I hope to bring it back home this time and get it repaired if at all possible.

One of the ex staff at Choppers, a guy called Dave now runs Vibe bar, a popular spot on the island. He has the most awful Essex accent you can imagine and calls everyone Geezer or even Geez for short.

What is really funny is his girlfriend of three years who is Swedish/Finnish/Norwegian. Well one of those I can't remember which. Her English is absolutely superb, except that she has picked up his accent.  Well it is a tad less violent than his, so you would probably put her in one of the Medway towns + a bit and you would never guess that she wasn't born and bred. Just proves how susceptible people are to accents. Also I am being a bit of a snob! They are a nice couple though.

Scobby and Jolien will be leaving Koh Tao next April and are travelling back to Europe on the Trans-Siberian railway. As they plan the same stops we did, I have been filling them in on the route, what to see etc etc. After the wedding they plan to settle in Australia, which will be great for them, but I will be sad that two of my best friends will be so far away.

We had a leaving Party for one of the Buddha View DMT's (Dive master trainee's) last night and all descended on an Italian restaurant called Farango's for Pizza and beer. He had booked for 16 and 51 of us turned up. My lasting memory is of the manager ringing up the owner and begging for help and more supplies. I left early as I had to get back to the bar to cash up.

Shadow has taken to sleeping on my balcony or living room floor if he can get away with it, while Luke is away. He is obviously missing him a lot.

Only a couple of weeks remain until I come home and have to finally face the stark reality of my new life,QB, but I will do my best to enjoy it, while it lasts. Anyway off to do some laundry and perhaps Sunday lunch at Choppers before I have to do the staff wages and hit the CD decks again.

A bientot!

16/07/07 - 17/07/07

I have seen the sun rise far too many times this week. Last night I decided to have a 60's, 70's & 80's music night instead of the usual Indy stuff. It went extremely well and I didn't close the bar until 6.30am and then on the way home I ran a chicken over. Judging by the angry squawks that followed me up the road, not too much damage was done.

The sun is now out with a vengeance and it hit a good 40°C yesterday. I managed to lose my keys in a club this morning. Faced with the prospect of a long walk home and the dubious possibility of getting into my bungalow, I went to speak to the owner, one of the Thai Maffia I think, but certainly a big cheese on the island. Luckily Luke had introduced me to him last week and he promised to see what he could do and bought me a Jack Daniels, what service.

When I bumped into Tanner at Choppers yesterday, I saw that his arms were all bruised. Apparently he lost his keys and had to climb into his bungalow. However as he was trying to get up into the roof space his table collapsed leaving him hanging on a wooden beam. Managing to haul himself up, he then got tangled in one of the electric cables and then fell through his ceiling. At least he succeeded in getting in, but I think I'll keep trying to find my keys!

Ten minutes later I was still busy hunting around the dance floor, the bar and the beach when a Thai guy approached me (the cleaner) and asked for 4 baht. 4 baht is nothing so I obliged and then he held out my keys. Hurrah. Damn the sun's just come up, again!!

I'm sure the tree at Dry bar is electrified. The fairy lights that wrap around it certainly are and when you put your hand on the tree, which is very old and spiky, there is a definite tingle. Certainly one of the beer fridges at Luke's bar is. You get an electric shock nearly every time you get a beer. Luckily it is very weak, but the Thai's don't seem to have heard of earthing anything so it's just one of hazards of the job. Health and safety would have an absolute field day, god bless 'em.

Pong, the barman put on a good show tonight. He went to collect some ice from the ice chest and didn't notice that the outside was crawling with red ants. These are not your everyday English red ants, but vicious biting ants that hurt like hell. Within about 5 seconds he had whipped off his jeans and was hopping around the bar shouting very shit very shit in his underpants.

18/07/07 - 24/07/07

Luke still hasn't come back from Bangkok. I made the mistake of telling him I had upped the profits and was enjoying myself and so he is now two days late.

I really don't mind though as I have met lots of people and it gives me something else to do.

Sarah, who is married to Paul had a birthday party at Play, run by Bear & Liz. Being married is a bit of an enigma on Koh Tao, but good luck to them. There was an excellent buffet laid on and I took a friend and we all danced away the night until the sun came up (again!). All 70's disco stuff including the classic Rasputin by Boney M. Of course I did my usual Cossack dancing, but found I was a bit out of practice and my legs ached for two days afterwards.

I think Luke has finally come home. I heard a lot of grunting noises early this morning and saw a veritable trail of porters carrying large boxes in the direction of his house. The new sound system it seems has arrived!

Sure enough half an hour later he shouts in my general direction to come and see. There in the corner on a table sat two CD-J decks, a mixing deck, a 2000watt amplifier and two 3 foot high speakers, it made my bungalow windows vibrate from 40 metres and I'm sure I saw Tom, one of his lodgers, stomping off into the distance muttering something about sleep or at least not being able to.

Even though his speakers are huge they are not up to 2000 watts of amp and sadly for him, but perhaps happily for everyone else within 2 km he has blown them up already.

Either way I left Koh Tao on the night boat to spend a few days away on Koh Phi Phi, which is on the other side of Thailand near Phuket. The night boat is quite good as you get a proper bed, well a mattress on the floor actually, but it is still quite comfortable and you get a pillow as well!

We left Tao at 9pm and arrived on Phi Phi at midday the next day, having taken a boat, bus and another boat. Koh Phi Phi is very beautiful and this is where the beach was filmed. In fact it was filmed on Maya beach on Phi Phi Ley, the smaller of the two islands. There is not really any Tsunami damage visible and it is considerably more expensive than Koh Tao for food and drink. Something here that Tao only has in bars is numerous street vendors who deal solely in buckets. For the uninitiated a bucket is about the size of a kids seaside bucket and comes filled with alcohol and numerous straws. Ranging from Sangsom (Thai whiskey) and coke to vodka & red bull, they are deadly. You often see girls strolling along swinging their bucket as opposed to their handbag and the blokes are not far behind.

As we are only here for a couple of days, we didn't explore much of Phi Phi, but did take a long tailed boat out for a trip around the islands. The snorkelling in the blue lagoon is much better than anywhere on Koh Tao. The water is absolutely crystal clear and there are numerous fish and corals everywhere.

Flushed with the success of the film the beach they now charge you to land there unless you go overland from the next bay, so we just photographed it from the boat. It was full of tourists anyway.

There are numerous speedboats whizzing around all the islands and a definite level of "posererism" with boats with 007 or James Bond painted on their sides.

The dancing competition at Apache bar last night was full of lady boys trying to win the 2000 baht prize. We didn't bother, it is impossible to compete with them and went to Cheeky Charlie's instead which is a cabin covered with Christmas lights, very good music and a few makeshift tables and chairs. A great place believe it or not.

Well our holiday from the holiday is over so it's time to head back to Koh Tao. As we cruised into the harbour at Krabi, the heavens opened, but fortunately there is a covered walkway. The travel company I had booked my return with were not there to pick me up so after a quick goodbye and with only a few minutes to spare until by bus to Surathaani left, I hopped into some Thai guys soupped up poser wagon for the quick trip into town.

I am sure it is completely illegal when driving, even in Thailand, but no sooner were we off than he pressed a button and a LCD screen popped up and commenced playing Thai songs with scantily clad ladies dancing to the music. On the way I rang the travel agents who insisted the mini-bus was full. After a few choice words from me they suddenly found one seat spare and agreed to hold the bus until I arrived.

The rain continued to pour down for the whole two and a half hours of the journey and I passed it answering questions about Koh Tao from the other passengers.

The lady at the travel agents in Suratthani insists that the night boat has been cancelled due to the weather and that we will have to stay in a hotel the night and get the day boat in the morning. They took us to a hotel nearby and we took rooms for 280 baht each.

Having been around a bit I was very suspicious. True it's raining, but not windy so after getting Luke's opinion by phone  I hopped onto a motorbike taxi and headed down to the port to check for myself. Sure enough they were loading up the night boat, which was due to depart as normal at 11pm.

Furious, I headed back to the travel agents and demanded my voucher for the boat. The lady has disappeared and her son was obviously uncomfortable on the phone to her. After 20 minutes her brother turned up and gave me 500 baht which amounts to the same thing as a boat voucher. She was too embarrassed to come back I think. Back to the hotel and they were adamant that they would not give me a refund. After about 15 minutes of me not moving, she sent someone up to the room to see if I had used it or not. I hadn't and so she relented and gave me back half of the money.

Back on the motorbike taxi to the port and ticket safely in hand I sat on the pier drinking Chang and eating a Pad Thai.

Soon it was time to leave and everyone settled in for the long journey, except my fellow bus passengers, who are no doubt still sitting in their hotel bedrooms.

I woke up in the middle of the night to find my minor sore throat had become excruciatingly painful. Swallowing, coughing or even talking makes me see stars and the left hand side of my face is numb. It is agony and so I sat on the starboard rail staring out to sea and watching the lights of fishing boats go by as our huge diesel engine thudded away next to me.

I arrived at the port on Koh Tao at 7am and I immediately bump into Luke, who has just come down to take delivery of his repaired speakers. Naturally he wants to know how my trip went so we drive up the road together following the taxi carrying his precious speakers.

Anyway only a couple of days to go now and I am starting the slow process of saying goodbye to all my friends old and new. There are lots of new possibilities on the horizon and I am pretty much back on top form.

I am having a leaving party on Friday and hopefully Scobby will have recovered as he literally crawled off home on his hands and knees from Buddha bar last night. It was pretty busy and in addition to the staff, both Luke and I were behind the bar, so it was rocking!

25/07/07 - 28/07/07

The throat is recovered thank god, I never want that again! I had a great leaving do last night. We started off in Morava and then moved onto dry bar. Scobby was as always immediately surrounded by a group of adoring female students. How DOES he do it?

Tom introduced a new drinking song. You play Roxanne by the police and have to have a sip of your drink every time they say the word Roxanne or red light. Very very silly indeed.

After Dry Bar, we popped into Lotus briefly and then it was down to the In the Pink party at the Castle, a multi level open air club with boulders poking up here and there around the place. It was absolutely heaving and my friend Lud was DJ'ing for a while.

If you arrive in something pink you get a free drink. We hadn't planned to go there so I had nothing pink on. The girl who walked in next to me didn't either, but whipped up her top in front of the doorman and said these are pink will that do. Needless to say she got a free drink voucher!! I left at 4.30am, but woke up at 7am, when Luke got home and started the after party including the owner of the The Castle and several girls in pink. I popped over for a while and then had to go and pack my bags. Boo hoo

The night before last, I did one final turn at the bar and ran it again for Luke. I took down my laptop and played all the classic tunes again. There was a huge group of 21 year old girls from Dublin there who were busy dancing away on the wooden decking, requesting songs from me and getting Pong to make them rude sounding cocktails.

Well I'm all packed and ready to go going going gone........

Well that's about it, I am on the sleeper train on my way to Bangkok.